The divine ordinary...

It is Mother's Day. Before I became a mother, in spite of trying, when I never thought I would be, this was a very hard day each year. My delusions of being a mother were all wrong, but I clung to them - how would I know?

Now I've been a mother for fourteen years and nearly nine months. As a single mother for fourteen years and four months, Mother's Day was somewhat optional. Sometimes I'd make a fuss, and sometimes I wouldn't. Like last year - I made the Love Child walk the Canal Path with me. With no one to prompt him to do things, they didn't always happen - no one saying "what should we do for Mom?". Two years ago, he got up early and poured boiling water into the French press for coffee; we ended up at his first ER visit. Like I said, somewhat optional. 

So now I have cancer (you probably heard about that if you are reading this) and it's Mother's Day. I have had a divine ordinary day. This year, the Love Child gave me flowers he picked (I'm not asking where) and posted funny stuff on my wall: http://youtu.be/JG1_393MvaQ. It is the end of the semester; I've graded papers. I've procrastinated grading by posting too much in Facebook. I've done piles of laundry and bought dog food. I've spoken to my mother-in-law, to thank her for having dear husband, and my mother, who is out on the sailboat. Both husband and I marvel that we have both mothers, both parents, still married, at our age - our children don't. (Well, they have us alive, but not married to their parent.)

Divine ordinary makes me divinely happy. Cancer makes everything dramatic and uncertain, a whole new, unknown territory unchosen to travel, and many days I succumb to worry and uncertainty, and freak out. I'd venture to guess that a day of ordinary happiness is probably what most cancer patients want and need. So I'm grateful.