Bald is both better and worse than I'd ever expected. Why do many things in life turn out that way?
Better: when a hot flash flashes, no big deal. Chemo stirs up hormones, starting a dance; flashes come mostly at night, and without layers of steamy hair, I'm quickly cooled. Showers are fast; so little to do! Hats and scarves prove exciting, challenging, altering, worth the effort.
Worse: I don't feel like me. No, that isn't true. I FEEL like me; I don't look like me. I look like a bald man. I see this in the mirror sometimes:
The other morning, dear husband walked in (I was in a chair, in my pink robe, huddled over my computer) and said I looked like Pema Chodron:
Both of these people are lovely; I just never thought I'd resemble them.
Confronting my whole face is surprising, confusing. Hiding behind hair for years, it was rarely all out there at once. Now, no hiding.
This wouldn't be bad for like a week. But this will probably be the case until Christmas or so, when I might maybe have something like hair, to be determined. I'll keep you posted.
You do not need hair to be the beautiful person you are.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cathy!
DeleteHave you decided no wig? If you want to give it a shot there's a little place in Richmond called the Pink Ribbon Boutique. I go there for my lymphedema stuff. Good luck with everything! This is KC by the way.
ReplyDeleteKC, thanks! I don't think I'm a wig person, esp in summer, but learning to live hats and scarves. Or just shiny, like Daddy Warbucks!
DeleteOh I didn't even think about the heat! Good call. The scarf looks great on you by the way. I stopped by kappa garden this afternoon and thought of you.
DeleteThere sure are a lot of life altering things you're facing at one time. It's wonderful that you can see the good along with the not so good of the experience. I'm sure it's difficult to embrace both for just what they are, but it seems that you are doing a wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteExactly, Lynda - so much is good amidst the hard...keeping perspective is proving interesting. Good friends like you, sending love, helps the most. I'm seeing this as life changing in multiple ways - what an opportunity.
Delete"Both of these people are lovely; I just never thought I'd resemble them." - Thank you for sharing this! Your writing offers a witty look at how to fully embrace both the good and bad.
ReplyDelete